Dr. Daisaku Ikeda, my spiritual mentor says, "It is painful to suffer an illness, but the most painful thing of all is to feel abandoned by everyone, that no one cares about you. That is why it is so important not to abandon or forget those who are sick or in trouble."
In my ongoing Psycho Oncological Counselling Project on behalf of CFF I met an assistant teacher from the state of Jharkhand, India, suffering from Colorectal cancer, who has a prolapse of colostomy. Those of you who are not aware of these medical terms please understand it means intense physical and emotional suffering. This is not the reason for writing this article, the reason is the story of this man and his family undergoing immense psychological distress and damage. The night before I called him he was contemplating laying down his head on the train track to free himself of suffering. What made him come back was a flash vision that came to him.
He spoke about his emotional turmoil. He does not lament his illness as much as he laments abandonment. His source of solace lies in his wife's care and his children's determination to make it big in their life one day in spite of their adversities. He lives with his wife, and three children in one room after being thrown out by his stepbrothers.
You might be eager to know what was the vision that saved his life. He said, "I saw myself sitting with my four step brothers and having a hearty laugh." A man who has no means of survival, economically or socially held on to the hope that one day he will overcome his illness and be united with his step brothers and have joyful moments again.
My long conversation reinforced my belief in the importance of having loved ones around in times of trouble. In spite of having a caring family, his heart was expansive to embrace his stepbrothers. He is the eldest and could not bear the pain of separation from them.
His eldest son, 17 yrs, wants to become a professor of mathematics one day, his daughter 16 yrs, wants to become a teacher and the youngest son 14 yrs wants to become an engineer. These children are determined to reach their goals. The man has started believing in uniting with his stepbrothers someday and the wife is the silent caregiver exhausting all her strength in making the man of her life comfortable.